By visiting blogger John Pilchard

Oh, constant poking fallacy, how do you continue to stretch upon ever-present morning rise? How shall I aim to dispel burning stream of froth, when you refuse to obey the calling card of flaccidity?
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Ever present and raging north, I did not chose competition with thy horse. Cease this burning and this itching sensation; per chance I shall call upon the leeches to subdue my morning proclamation.


If the stable should find it empty, the curve must lament upon my blistered hand. The itch will not then, spread throughout the maiden land. I regretfully tug and scream in the darkest of nights. I fight this scaly dragon with all my holy might.


Suddenly, aghast! There is a knock upon the door. I prayeth not my mother any more. With a swing and gasp and a candle in hand! Her eyes fell upon my mightiest of man.


“Why must you cry and wank off?”
“Why must you barge and not knock!”


The curvature fell limp, a scepter un-bolden, I let go off the beast, no distance worth holding.


The sun will rise in the ever-present morning and with it comes the constant growing curvature of greatness!

​-John Pilchard

To hear John in the Still Human Podcast, you can listen on iTunes by clicking here

By John Pilchard

To hear John in 'Episode 15: John Makes Movies', you can listen on iTunes here

I can still remember the days, usually summer days, of going to the movie theater with my mother. These primarily fond memories helped to mold me into the movie viewer I am today. Back then I was much, much younger. Back then, my mother and I enjoyed the work of M. Night Shyamalan. Together we sat and watched intricate stories with unfolding twists play out in front of us. This was the time when M. Night was on top of the world. I look back on those 3 years and realize, slightly older now, that those years are long gone.
 
I won’t harass you with specifics, but I will. Do you remember, Lady in the Water, The Village, and most importantly to help drive this point home, The Last Air Bender? Sure, maybe the last one there doesn’t count because that wasn’t Mr. Shyamalan’s source material. It seems that anytime anyone attempts to adapt a popular anime for an American audience, they usually crash and burn, like when that fire nation attacked. I’m not 100 percent on the details though; I couldn’t even finish the movie.

Those aforementioned films were stinkers. There really is no sound way to argue against that. The director who was once on top of the world began to rely too heavily on the plot twist device. He then forgot about story, or more so, he decided to over complicate the story to exacerbate that plot twist at the end. That doesn’t always work, and after a few more tries, it still doesn’t work. In The Village’s defense, that movie was pretty good for about the first half hour, however you can only watch that movie once.

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