Saber Fingers The Musical!

Written with screenwriting software, then transferred to Microsoft Word. The formatting is off.

SCENE - 1

A young boy is asleep in his bed. His MOTHER walks in and sits down on the bed next to him.

MOTHER

Benjamin, it's time for school, dear.

The boy rolls over and faces the wall next to his bed.

MOTHER

Benji, it's time to get ready.

The mother pulls the sheets off of Benjamin, stands up, and walks out of the room. There is a faint blue glow on the wall from where Benjamin is laying.

FADE TO BLACK

BENJAMIN V.O.

My mother always tried to support me but she always fell short. She said she understood my struggle, my undertaking but how could she?! No one could ever know the pain that I face everyday. They will never know.

SCENE - 2

INT. OFFICE - DAY

BENJAMIN is now in his mid 30's. He's sitting at a desk trying his hardest to type on his computer. His hands are blocked by his monitor in front of him. A faint whooshing sound can be heard as he tries to type.

BENJAMIN

(muttering) Ah...Fuck...Ughhh.

Benjamin's desk mate, GREG can see that Ben is struggling at his work.

GREG

Monday's, huh?

BENJAMIN

(frustrated) Yeah! Monday's, Greg!

Greg quickly looks back at his computer screen. More Whooshing and zapping can be heard as Benjamin gets back to work. Benjamin's boss, KURT KOWALSKI, a short balding man approaches his desk.

KURT

Ben, hi, could you step into my office?

BENJAMIN

Sure thing, Mr. Kowalski.

SCENE - 3

INTERIOR - KURTS OFFICE - DAY

Kurt sits behind his desk and Ben sits in front of him in anticipation.

KURT

So Ben, I just wanted to generate some open conversation with you.

BENJAMIN

Ok...

KURT

Good. Ok, so here at Freight Terminal, it's our job to get products to the people. For heavens sake! We're the largest delivery company in the world.

Benjamin nods in agreement.

KURT

Right. And more specifically, it's your job to complete order forms for our clients, so we know what to ship and where to ship it to.

BENJAMIN

Correct.

KURT

Alright, so we're on the same page. Good. So looking at your forms here.

Kurt pulls out a large 3 ring binder from his desk drawer.

KURT

Ah, right, ok here's the problem. So stop me if I'm wrong, you've been employed here for well over 8 months and you actually haven't ever completed a shipment order.

Kurt opens the 3 ring binder and it's empty.

KURT

I mean good lord, Ben, you haven't even started one. I walk past your desk everyday and your computer isn't even on! What's going on, guy?

BENJAMIN

Oh, don't you tip toe around this.

KURT

Let's not take this there.

BENJAMIN

It's because i'm Jewish, isn't it!

KURT

Ben, you know that i'm jewish and it isn't because of that. I think the bigger issue at hand is--

Kurt is cut off by Benjamin.

BENJAMIN

It's because of these!

Benjamin raises both his hands to reveal that each one of his fingers is a miniature light saber. As his hands raise the whooshing gets louder.

BENJAMIN

Go ahead, say it to my face!...Speak it to my hands!!

KURT

Ben, this, this is really interfering our company code of conduct and you've actually cost us a tremendous amount of money. I have been getting death threats because 'someone keeps breaking the coffee machine.

SCENE - 4

INT. OFFICE BREAK ROOM - DAY

A broken coffee machine sits on a counter dripping. The coffee machine is scorched and burnt up.

INT. KURTS OFFICE - DAY

Ben and Kurt are still sitting and talking.

KURT

There's really no easy way to say this...Please pack up all your broken and burnt shit. Like, get it the fuck off your desk because it's distracting and all of it, quite frankly is in poor taste. I mean, who really drinks from one of those toilet bowl mugs? (sigh) i guess you do...Well I guess you try to?

Audio fade out. Kurt keeps belittling Benjamin.

FADE TO BLACK

BENJAMIN V.O.

I wish I could say that times like these were the hardest parts of my life...But I can't. This has just become my normalcy. They started to call me the drifter because I couldn't hold down a job for more than 2 to 8 years at a time. I feel like an animal. A wild beast always on the lam. Sure, working was hard but Goddamn if being a kid wasn't hell on earth.

EXT. PLAY GROUND - DAY

Kids are playing with a ball outside. A kid serves the ball straight to Benjamin and he goes to bump it but the ball deflates on his fingers. All the kids point and laugh as Benjamin runs away; the ball flapping and waving on his fingers as he runs.

INT. BENJAMINS CHILD HOOD HOME - DUSK

Benjamin walks through the front door of his home. His mom is in the kitchen making dinner.

MOTHER

How was school, dear?

BENJAMIN

It was good, mom.

Benjamin runs up stairs in a hurry.

INT. BENJAMINS ROOM - NIGHT

Ben uses one finger to open up his back pack like anyone else would use a zipper. He pulls out a Macy's lingerie catalogue, he burns the edges a little bit with his fingers by accident. Ben walks into his bathroom and closes the door behind him.

Whooshing and zapping can be heard from within the bathroom and then a loud scream. Benjamin's mom enters his room and pushes open the bathroom door.

MOTHER

Ben, what's going on?

BENJAMIN

MOM! NOOOOOOOOO!

EXT. BENJAMINS WORK - DAY

Ben is walking towards his car with a box of his work stuff in hand. The Box is burnt and has holes in it.

BENJAMIN V.O.

Do you have any idea what it's like to lop off the tip of your penis while looking your mother dead in the eyes?

Ben pulls on the handle of his car but it's locked. He sighs heavily and uses one of his fingers to melt open the lock on his car door. He tosses his box inside, then sits down in the drivers seat and drives off.

INT. CAR - DAY

Benjamin is driving and looking frustrated. The radio cuts to commercial.

COMMERCIAL RADIO V.O.

Tired of the everyday grind? Are you sick of waking up and poking yourself in the eye with failure? That lump on your genitals getting bigger? Is your wife Susan still cheating on you?

Benjamin looks curious and shocked and confused all at the same time.

BENJAMIN

(mumbling to himself) well she was...

COMMERCIAL RADIO V.O.

If you're sick of being a prick, if you're tired of being a schmuck-freak then get down on it and come see me at Roddy's Flowers, located in central downtown.

A fast disclaimer voice can be heard after the commercial.

DISCLAIMER V.O.

If that genital lump is getting bigger please consult a doctor. Warning: Roddy's Flowers have been known to cause pregnancy and general impotency.

A smile gleams across the face of Benjamin.

BENJAMIN

Oh yeah, impotency.

FADE TO BLACK

INT. RODDY'S FLOWERS BACK - DAY

Days later.

Benjamin is in a smock in the back of a flower shop, trimming a bouqet with his hands. He is loving the work that he is doing. Petals and twigs are falling around him as he perfects his flower order.

INT. RODDY'S FLOWERS FRONT - DAY

The finished bouqet of flowers sits on the front desk. Benjamin stands back proud. A ringing can be heard and beautiful woman enters the shop. ANNE is tall, slender and blond.

ANNE

Hi, I'm picking up an order for Anne.

Benjamin is taken back by her beauty.

BENJAMIN

Of course, that'll be 22.50.

Anne reaches into her purse to grab some money. She pulls out cash and hands it to Benjamin. The money burns up in her hand because she has light sabers for fingers too. Benjamin's hand is outstretched over the counter. They both look at each others hands and then at each other. They pause. Then they grab at each others sabers and a soft, gentle whooshing can be heard.

FADE TO BLACK



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